Assertiveness : a practical approach by Stephanie Holland; Clare Ward

By Stephanie Holland; Clare Ward

This name deals a chance for pros from all backgrounds to increase an figuring out of assertiveness. it's a useful operating guide from that may be utilized the rules of assertiveness.

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Sample text

There are often strong messages to both sexes about physically releasing feelings: • Men don't cry • Women don't get angry • Men don't touch other men • Women don't shout We need to challenge these messages for ourselves, so that we can be comfortable about releasing powerful emotions such as anger, frustration, jealousy and grief.  There are many exercises on relaxation; we have suggested a few in Appendix I which you may like to use with your groups.  It can help us to clarify how we feel, but it is not a substitute for honestly disclosing our feelings to the person who has upset us.

It is not the time or the place to go into great detail, but, by gently touching the surface, we are opening up a path for further exploration, if people choose to take it. The following issues are the ones we find most relevant: society's messages; body image; sexism; sexuality versus sensuality.  It is helpful to look at the way these messages differ for men and women on the table overleaf.  Assertiveness encourages us to believe in ourselves and follow our own feelings and inclinations, whether or not they fit in with society's stereotypes.

You must make yourself attractive to the opposite sex. You have to have lots of partners to prove You must not sleep around or else you will your virility. be considered cheap. You have to be physical rather than emotional. You have less of a sex drive than men. You have to 'perform' in order to be a man You must do your duty and oblige your partner. You have to make the first move. You should wait for the man to initiate. " It is important to appreciate the power of these messages and to recognise the effect they have on the roles we assume in our lives.

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